i wish i could sleep

I've been having trouble sleeping for the past two months . I don't know exactly what it is, but insomnia is definitely back in my life. It’s 4:21 a.m. and after laying in bed listlessly for 2hrs, after trying to listen to music and the deep breathing, I finally gave in, got my ass out of bed and sat it down in front of the computer, to do some “work.” The nature of the work is yet to be determined.

about 2 hours later...

I lived in the relative “country” outside of Portland for about a year. The dang rooster on the property never, ever, crowed at the right time. It was cockadoodle-doo in the middle of meditation, all thru breakfast, and especially around 2am. What the fuck was wrong with that rooster? I spent 5 weeks in Tijuana and the roosters were about the same there, too. It is now 6 a.m and I still haven’t slept. I hear a rooster crowing now, and I just have to smile because it’s another thing I like about Quito, roosters actually crow at the right time here. I think I'm about ready to go to bed.

(note: this pic was taken after the all night Christmas party, me sans sleep)

atacames/esmeraldas, coast of ecuador

I went to the beach this past weekend for 5 days. It was beautiful. Caribbean looking waters, and very very hot. I think it has something to do with being in the middle of the world? Not sure. I thought Florida was hot and moved away to Portland to escape the oppressive humidity, but Florida's got nothing on the coast of Ecuador. So hot I could barely sleep.

I stayed with more family here. They have a house in Esmeraldas, that's more like a series of houses, a veritable compound, pretty cool. As well as a finca, a farm, but since it's in the jungle it's a finca. La finca. (pics below, also the fruit is from there). The yellow fruit below is cacao. It's pretty awesome. The seeds are covered in a white gummy substance that is super sweet and yummy. After enjoying the white part or carnaza, you peel away what's left of it and have the dark brown pods by which to make chocolate (the seeds are featured in my hand), after processing it in the sun and toasting them, etc.

I meant to start this blog a couple months ago, for those who have kept up with me on Facebook, no harm there. For those of you who don't Facebook, well, I am glad to provide some text and images to share my aventuras. Instead of backtracking at this time and filling in the blanks of the last two to three months, I have decided to start where I am at. Quito, Ecuador. I have been here now for a month and am loving it. I am staying with my stepmom, Monica's family and they are a load of fun, activity and love.

I cannot say with what frequency I will update this, or to what extent I will victimize you with my emotional indigestion, but I've started it at least. Love to all of you, I wish I could be in many places at once so I could enjoy all the wonderful people I cherish.

the title of the blog for now is ¿quién sabe?, which just means "who knows?". i couldn't come up with a name, and since i say this a lot in spanish, i thought i'd use it. who knows what will happen in the future? that's where i am at, so...let's be open to what learning we need to receive and what old ideas and patterns we can shed as we commence another year...